So, I heard today there’s a rumor that Michael Bay wants to direct a live-action Evangelion movie. I can confirm this as true. I have, with my own eyes, seen a promo trailer Michael Bay has already cut to bring investors on board— it’s a fresh, mindblowing take on the beloved Japanimation franchise. I’ve smuggled out a transcript.
INTERIOR: College party, California. Loud dance music is thumping. Everybody has solo cups and are throbbing to the beat. The girls are all HOT, and wear shirts cut or tied above the belly and cutoff shorts. Their mouths never close fully. In a corner stands SEAN IKARI, a white, 20-something kid in a “Queens of the Stone Age” t-shirt. He is glancing akwardly around the room. A hand claps him on the shoulder— it’s TAJIQUE “TJ” WASHINGTON, Sean’s cocky streetwise black roommate.
"Well well well, if it isn’t the life of the party, my man Sean Ikari.”